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Laughing with a Legend.

8/21/2013

3 Comments

 
Picture
Hay.  Gittings.  Martin & Lyons.  Sarria.  Kameny.  Rustin. 
Perry
.   Milk.    Frank.  Kramer.  Windsor. DeLarverie.


A couple of months ago when Edie Windsor’s case against the Supreme Court led to a legal federal recognition of marriage equality (limited, as it was to those individuals married legally by states), I posted a list of names similar to the one above.

I was sadly shocked when so many of my friends, who are peers of my age group, asked me who they were. (They're all linked to Wikipedia, so look 'em up and learn!)  I guess I’m one of the lucky ones:  studying gender history in college, a class or two in LGBT literature, being an activist since I was 14 years old.  I’ve gotten the chance to chat with Barbara Gittings, Frank Kameny and Larry Kramer.  But I’m terribly lucky in that I had the chance to know Jose Sarria.

The world became a little less sparkly this week when Jose died at the age of 90, but as the first openly gay candidate for public office in our country’s history, and later as the founder of the International Imperial Court System, he directly inspired tens of thousands of people, and his work impacted tens of millions more.

I don’t need to recount his full bio:  WWII Vet, Legendary Cabaret Performer, World’s Fair Entrepreneur, Political organizer, activist, nurturer and mother to us all.  You can read his memoir, “The Empress is a Man,” or any number of the obituaries that are running right now.   But I do want to take a minute to reflect on the man himself.

I met Jose for the first time in 1998 during New York’s Coronation Weekend.  Because I have a tendency to revere our legends and trailblazers, I confess to being a little nervous to meet him.  When I did however, I found  him to be warm, charming and just a little bit wicked.   At that point in his life, he would come East for several months at a time, hitting a number of East Coast Coronations while he visited with old friends.  When he was in town, members of the Court would often take him to dinner:  he was a fascinating companion and never seemed to run out of stories.  One night, probably in 1999, I invited him to dinner and stopped by Empress Coco LaChine’s apartment to pick him up.  We hopped into a cab, maneuvered through pre-theatre traffic and arrived at what was then one of my favorite spots:  Rachel’s, a small American bistro on 9th Avenue.  Because of the time of night, there was a line to get into the place.  I took Jose’s arm and guided him past the line to the maitre’d’s desk and said, “Reservation for Sarria.”  The host immediately showed us to the only empty table in the place, past people waiting at the bar and through the crowded dining room.  People wondered who we were!  When he left us with our menus, Jose leaned over with a twinkle in his eye and simply asked, “So Witti…when do you want to be Empress?”  It took a dozen more years before that would come to pass, but he was eager and willing to nurture the young kid, helping to build and ensure a new generation of leaders would be ready to step up when called.

We had polite conversation on a few more occasions in the late 90’s and early aughts, but then I took some time away from the Court System for a few years.  When I returned, and brought my partner with me, Jose had handed over day-to-day operations of the system to Nicole the Great.  This meant that he had the time to be even more sociable during visits, and he always loved holding court.

Mind you, with Jose, holding court was like having a conversation with a great-aunt who’d been there and done that.  One of his greatest talents was to make you feel like you were a part of his world, one of his children.  Despite having founded and nurtured the second largest LGBT organization in the world, he never lost his humility and never stopped his encouragements.

In February, 2010, my partner Ian Flagrante and I travelled to Connecticut for their ball.  Now , as much as I have a respect for our elderstatesmen, Ian has even more than I do.  He was very interested to meet Mama Jose, and she immediately fell in love with him.  For a couple years I was “that cute cub’s drag queen boyfriend,” even though Jose had known me for more than a decade.  Jose introduced himself to Ian in his usual, customary and wickedly exploratory way, and found himself at a loss for words as Ian introduced himself in HIS customary way.  They hit it off immediately and spent several minutes in conversation.  We had the fortune to visit with Jose more that weekend, and later in New York, took him to brunch several times.

In 2012, when I was crowned Empress of New York, I was disappointed that Jose could not make the journey to the east coast.  He was nearly 90, and beginning to suffer the effects of the illnesses that would eventually end his life.  Jose had a very special relationship with my Emperor, Ritz Kraka, and we made a point of sending photos and a note out to Jose after we were crowned. 

I was pleased and honored to be invited to San Francisco in August of 2012 to join with the Imperial Court of San Francisco at their 40th Anniversary of the Emperors.  Jose and I had a few chuckles that night, but whether I was projecting, or whether he was truly feeling unwell, his energy was lower.  He was as gracious as ever, but some of the spark seemed to have faded, and while I enjoyed seeing him, I was sad in the knowledge that it might be the last time.

Fortunately, the gods smiled on the both of us.  This past year in February, I attended San Francisco’s coronation ball, and Jose was in the rarest of spirits:  he was active, engaged, had more twinkle than an elf, and was full of good humor, dirty stories and memories to share.  I was lucky enough to spend a good half hour with him at the hotel, and was excited to be participating in the annual pilgrimage to Emperor Norton’s grave on Sunday morning.  At 90 years old, Jose was up and full of energy at 7 in the AM.  As queens 1/3 of his age moped onto the bus, there was Mama in full face chastising them, teasing them, joking with them and telling stories about past trips to the cemetery.  He proceeded to treat the bus ride as his own personal cabaret and kept telling stories and jokes the whole way.  We got there, and he hosted a continental breakfast, and then led the procession up the hill:  musicians, drag queens, performers.  My memory gets muddy when I think of him running the entire show at graveside, but if he didn’t, he was a full and active part of it.  More stories, more jokes, more jabs at his favorite targets.  He was having a blast, and we all were too.  The bus ride back to the hotel was more of the same as his energy kept rising and bouncing off a bus full of his children and grandchildren.  Even an hour later at brunch, he was still going and joking and jabbing and full, as always, of his unique brand of folk wisdom. 

That WAS the last time I got to spend time with Jose Sarria, Absolute Empress I, The Widow Norton.  But man, what an amazing man, what a great rally that weekend, and what an incredible life.  On September 6, I will be attending his state funeral in San Francisco and Jose will be making his final pilgrimage up the hill to rest beside Joshua.  Somehow, I don’t think it will be the final trip for anyone else.

Good night, Mama.  You broke ground and inspired us all by being who you were and figuring out clever ways to get around those who said you couldn’t.  We need more like you, but will take your lessons and your heart and try to keep part of you with us always.

So my lesson is:  when you meet a legend, don’t forget that they’re human, just like you are, and probably have some really fascinating things to share.  Talk to them, laugh with them, and occasionally, buy them dinner.  Your life will be richer for it.

3 Comments

I Miss the Muppets.

11/24/2011

2 Comments

 
So it's Thanksgiving.  One of the things that Kerry and I have done for years is volunteer for / at God's Love We Deliver, followed by lunch and then usually a ridiculous dinner and a movie, leaving our own Turkey plans for Friday.  This year is no different.

However, today, children's television station "The Hub" was showing the three worst pieces of Muppet movie trash, "Muppet Treasure Island,"  "Muppets from Space," and "A Muppet Christmas Carol."  We were watching bits and pieces of them, mostly in anticipation of our annual Thanksgiving Night movie excursion, this time to see "The Muppets," Disney's attempt to reboot the franchise.

Now, a little bit of history and backstory.  I was born in 1973, which puts me smack in the target audience for "The Muppets."  I am right in the middle of generation X, saw "The Muppet Movie" in the theatres in 1979, danced as Kermit with a Miss Piggy in first grade to "The Rainbow Connection," and was young enough to experience the Muppets for the first time with a child's eyes.  I didn't understand the camp, the satire, the multiple layers until later, but I always understood that at the very heart of the, there was a message of hope, of creativity and of fitting in to the world around you while maintaining your individuality.   When I was 9, I drove my parents crazy to get me a Miss Piggy Puppet for Christmas, and then crazier trying to find hair accessories for it.  (Should i have known THEN that I was destined to be a drag queen? Probably.)  A singing Miss Piggy delivered balloons to the office where I was working the summer I turned 16.   I have ALWAYS cried at the finale of that first movie ("Life's like a movie/write your own ending/keep believing/keep pretending...").   One night about a dozen years ago, I met a new friend who immediately seemed like a soulmate. After several hours of conversation, I said to  him,  unironically, "There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met."  He got a look in his eyes and raced back to his bedroom and returned with the framed lyric from "I'm Going To Go Back There Someday," Gonzo's song which I had just quoted.

Needless to say, I have always felt a deep, deep connection to the Muppets.  When Jim Henson died, I was devastated, but never more so than the TV special several years later where the Muppets were looking for Kermit.  In the last moments of that special, he entered and spoke for the first time without Jim Henson's voice and i bawled like a baby.

Tonight sitting in the theatre watching "The Muppets" I was very glad that i had extra napkins, because I relied on them frequently:  When Kermits photo wall had a picture of him in Jim's arms;  when the cast started backing up Kermit and Piggy on an ensemble version of "Rainbow Connection,"  and just about a dozen other times.

I AM the target audience for "The Muppets."  The running theme of this movie involves trying to recapture the magic that the gang used to have.   In some subtle way, they're saying "Back in the 70's, we knew what we were doing.  Since Jim died, we've been floundering.  We sold ourselves to some German company, and they sold us to Disney, and neither of them had figured out what made us so special back in the days of The Muppet Show."  And they'd be right.  But I can tell you what made them so special:

The Muppets have ALWAYS referenced a kinder, simpler time. In the 1970's, we were at war in Vietnam, we were in the middle of a crumbling recession, national pride was in the toilet, our government was floundering. There's a great joke where Kermit pulls out his rolodex and tries to call President Carter.  Well, the Muppet Show was always vaudeville, in the 1970's a throwback to the 20's, today a throwback to the colorful halcyon days of the 1970's.  We've let things get too serious again.  We've forgotten that when we all work together, we can accomplish miracles.  When I ran for Empress, I used the platform of "Community, Camp and Collaboration."  What are the Muppets if not a shining beacon of all three of those concepts?

Let's learn from new muppet Walter (who can be a manly  muppet, while his brother can be a muppetish man).  We can accomplish amazing things if we just try.  Let's learn from Kermit and Piggy, who look at each other like Amanda and Elyot in Private Lives and realize that while they may occasionally make each other miserable, they have a love that can survive ages.  Let's look at Gonzo, who although he is a rich and famous plumber, still wears The Great Gonzo's jumpsuit under his pinstripes.  Let's learn from Scooter, who within a beat changes from "I don't go onstage!" to the host of the Muppet Telethon.  And let's learn from the producers of "The Muppets," who although they kept Rowlf (as the true alter-ego of Jim Henson) silent for years, brought him back as if to say, "Jim's spirit, his laugh-at-ourselves-first perspective and his sense that we ALL fit in, even as we are all individuals" was missing, but it's back.

I'm still emotional from having seen this movie, and that may be silly.  But it's making me reconnect with a more colorful time when we all worked together, when we all problem-solved our way out of crisis, and when we all put on rose-colored glasses, not because we were naive, but because the world was a little bit prettier that way.

I AM the target audience for "The Muppets"...but so are you.  And so are we all. 
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